It's been 9 months since we lost our Michael. Ever since I was young I've wanted to one day meet him, if nothing more then to tell him what he did for me, how he changed my life. I believe as do many of you that Michael can hear us all now that he is an angel so I have told him already how he impacted me but I would like to share it with my lovely MJ Fam too. I know you have stories & as you can see by this blog title "MJ & his Impact on Our Lives" this blog isn't just about my specific story & I hope that you will post comments sharing your stories too!!! :) now let me get started.....
I have been a Michael Jackson fan from before I can remember. My dad was a fan & he had the Thriller album. He played it constantly & he told me stories of when I was 2 & 3 and that before I would go to sleep or take my nap I HAD to hear Human Nature and that I just wouldn't stop until I did :) I guess though I don't remember it that is the first of many impacts Michael had on me, without his song Human Nature my dad might have had a more fussy child to deal with haha! :) My first memory of Michael though is when I was 9 that's when I say I officially became a fan & that's the start of from what I remember of him changing my life. People who know me now never believe this about me but when I was a young child I was a shy nervous kid, I had a pronounced stutter and I could not say my R's right ( I sounded like Elmer Fudd) I was a loner & I was picked on badly because of my stutter, my awkwardness and alot of other things. That hurt my self esteem bad as you would imagine and while I had a loving father who told me I was unique and great I had a mother who was the opposite (but I will get into that more in a bit). I felt like a freak & I felt alone til one day my dad came home with the Dangerous CD for me I was excited and popped it in right away. I danced I jumped around and I sang (once I learned the words lol) to the songs until a certain song came on. That song was Keep The Faith & it made me stop what I was doing and sit on my bed. As I listened to that song I felt like crying but in a good way, I felt like Michael was singing directly to me. I felt like he was telling me you are a winner, you CAN do this but you must believe in yourself. It changed how I felt, I suddenly felt not so alone, I felt like someone out there knew what I was going through and that helped more then you can imagine. As I listened to that CD over and over I became more confident, I became more outspoken. I was suddenly raising my hand in class, I was voicing my opinion & I was answering questions and doing things I wouldn't have dared dream of doing before that song came out. I lost my stutter I gained confidence & I even got rid (thankfully!) of the Elmer Fudd R's . From then on I became the person I am now, the unshy, outspoken not be run over by anybody person :) but that is by far not the last time Michael made an impact in my life. As I had said earlier I would get to my mom and my relationship further down. I'm not going to air my "dirty laundry" so to speak but I have to say something in order to get my point across here. in saying that my mom is a cold person, whether she means to be or not, she is crass, spiteful and hurtful & we have never ever gotten along. My parents divorced when i was 11 and after that because of custody issues I could only see my dad on weekends. Being alone with my mom was hell on earth for me. Constant fighting, constant bickering, her constantly telling me i wasn't good enough no matter what I did. I'm smart I was a straight A student I thought that would please her but when I'd get an A- on a test she'd say well why didn't you get an A+....etc etc I think you get my point now so I will stop there. Michael helped me yet again when I found out about him and his father again I felt a kindred spirit in Michael. My mother never beat me thankfully but in all other ways she reminded me of Michael's relationship with his dad. Again it felt good and comforting although I cried for Michael, that someone somewhere knew my pain. Knew what I was going through. I again knew I wasn't alone. This has also helped me in recent years because though I don't know if they mended their relationship completely it seemed like Michael & his dad overcame their differences to a point & became closer as a father and son. I have hopes now in my adulthood that one day and hopefully one day soon I can mend the bridges between me and my mom. I would love nothing more. In a speech Michael gave I think it was the oxford one, he mentioned something about parents, about how if they don't know how to show love that one thing the child can do is being loving and caring and hopefully by example the parent will come to see and learn. I have used his knowledge yet again in my adult years and am trying to use his wisdom to help with me and my mother I hope one day it will work, my good friend @angelzaroundus has given me hope also in this situation and I wanted to take a brief moment to thank her for her time and her compassion. Now I could go on and on through each stage of my life and how Michael helped because in EVERY stage he seemed to be there but I will only say one more time specifically. When I was 15 my father died. and I felt like it was the end of the world. I was distraught I was heartbroken & I was angry so angry for myself and so angry for him because I thought he had been screwed out of a good 20 yrs he should have had left. I listened to Michael Jackson every day esp the song "You Are Not Alone" and little bit by little bit the pain started to subside (it will never go away but..) I stopped being angry at the world, I started to feel like I didn't want anyone else to go through the pain I did so I started helping others more and more (before my dad died I helped out in food drives etc but not as much as i did after) everytime I saw someone smile at me it made me feel like I eased their pain I eased their worry and it made me feel like I still had a purpose, to be loving and compassonate, to care and to give these are all things Michael taught me all the things I learned from listening to his songs, & listening to his words I don't think I would be who i am now or have the compassion I do for things and people I do if it weren't for Michael. His words had such wisdom made such sense. Why hate, why be cruel, why judge others? we are all god's children, we are all brothers and sisters and it's time we started loving each other. Michael taught me that. Michael inspired me to help, Michael inspired me in almost everything I do. People sometimes say they see a light around me or that I brighten their day just by a visit and I think that is again Michael's influence. I know that everyone in the MJ Fam agrees Michael was someone special he was an angel on earth. I really hope he realized how many lives he touched and how many lives are forever different because of him. I don't know if he knew that in life but i'm sure he knows it now :) The one thing I do want to say also before I end this is, just recently Michael has yet again helped me through another thing in my life. There were some songs like Streetwalker etc that I had not heard until right after his death. One of those songs is called "On The Line" at this point in my life & what i'm going through when I heard that song again I cried, again I said Michael HOW did you know because that song word for word could have been written for me. & in me hearing the song it has given me hope again. It has helped me to do one thing I've always needed to do and that's let go of the past. I thank all of you who read this for reading it, for listening to my story, for letting me share how Michael changed my life. & I wanted to say in closing, Michael Jackson I love you more, I hope now you know exactly how you changed the world, how you changed my life. I'm so glad to have "known" you, I'm so glad to have been born while you were here. I feel blessed for that. I feel blessed to have had you in my life. Thank you for being my teacher, my inspiration, my love & my friend when I felt I had no one else. I love you Michael
I have been a Michael Jackson fan from before I can remember. My dad was a fan & he had the Thriller album. He played it constantly & he told me stories of when I was 2 & 3 and that before I would go to sleep or take my nap I HAD to hear Human Nature and that I just wouldn't stop until I did :) I guess though I don't remember it that is the first of many impacts Michael had on me, without his song Human Nature my dad might have had a more fussy child to deal with haha! :) My first memory of Michael though is when I was 9 that's when I say I officially became a fan & that's the start of from what I remember of him changing my life. People who know me now never believe this about me but when I was a young child I was a shy nervous kid, I had a pronounced stutter and I could not say my R's right ( I sounded like Elmer Fudd) I was a loner & I was picked on badly because of my stutter, my awkwardness and alot of other things. That hurt my self esteem bad as you would imagine and while I had a loving father who told me I was unique and great I had a mother who was the opposite (but I will get into that more in a bit). I felt like a freak & I felt alone til one day my dad came home with the Dangerous CD for me I was excited and popped it in right away. I danced I jumped around and I sang (once I learned the words lol) to the songs until a certain song came on. That song was Keep The Faith & it made me stop what I was doing and sit on my bed. As I listened to that song I felt like crying but in a good way, I felt like Michael was singing directly to me. I felt like he was telling me you are a winner, you CAN do this but you must believe in yourself. It changed how I felt, I suddenly felt not so alone, I felt like someone out there knew what I was going through and that helped more then you can imagine. As I listened to that CD over and over I became more confident, I became more outspoken. I was suddenly raising my hand in class, I was voicing my opinion & I was answering questions and doing things I wouldn't have dared dream of doing before that song came out. I lost my stutter I gained confidence & I even got rid (thankfully!) of the Elmer Fudd R's . From then on I became the person I am now, the unshy, outspoken not be run over by anybody person :) but that is by far not the last time Michael made an impact in my life. As I had said earlier I would get to my mom and my relationship further down. I'm not going to air my "dirty laundry" so to speak but I have to say something in order to get my point across here. in saying that my mom is a cold person, whether she means to be or not, she is crass, spiteful and hurtful & we have never ever gotten along. My parents divorced when i was 11 and after that because of custody issues I could only see my dad on weekends. Being alone with my mom was hell on earth for me. Constant fighting, constant bickering, her constantly telling me i wasn't good enough no matter what I did. I'm smart I was a straight A student I thought that would please her but when I'd get an A- on a test she'd say well why didn't you get an A+....etc etc I think you get my point now so I will stop there. Michael helped me yet again when I found out about him and his father again I felt a kindred spirit in Michael. My mother never beat me thankfully but in all other ways she reminded me of Michael's relationship with his dad. Again it felt good and comforting although I cried for Michael, that someone somewhere knew my pain. Knew what I was going through. I again knew I wasn't alone. This has also helped me in recent years because though I don't know if they mended their relationship completely it seemed like Michael & his dad overcame their differences to a point & became closer as a father and son. I have hopes now in my adulthood that one day and hopefully one day soon I can mend the bridges between me and my mom. I would love nothing more. In a speech Michael gave I think it was the oxford one, he mentioned something about parents, about how if they don't know how to show love that one thing the child can do is being loving and caring and hopefully by example the parent will come to see and learn. I have used his knowledge yet again in my adult years and am trying to use his wisdom to help with me and my mother I hope one day it will work, my good friend @angelzaroundus has given me hope also in this situation and I wanted to take a brief moment to thank her for her time and her compassion. Now I could go on and on through each stage of my life and how Michael helped because in EVERY stage he seemed to be there but I will only say one more time specifically. When I was 15 my father died. and I felt like it was the end of the world. I was distraught I was heartbroken & I was angry so angry for myself and so angry for him because I thought he had been screwed out of a good 20 yrs he should have had left. I listened to Michael Jackson every day esp the song "You Are Not Alone" and little bit by little bit the pain started to subside (it will never go away but..) I stopped being angry at the world, I started to feel like I didn't want anyone else to go through the pain I did so I started helping others more and more (before my dad died I helped out in food drives etc but not as much as i did after) everytime I saw someone smile at me it made me feel like I eased their pain I eased their worry and it made me feel like I still had a purpose, to be loving and compassonate, to care and to give these are all things Michael taught me all the things I learned from listening to his songs, & listening to his words I don't think I would be who i am now or have the compassion I do for things and people I do if it weren't for Michael. His words had such wisdom made such sense. Why hate, why be cruel, why judge others? we are all god's children, we are all brothers and sisters and it's time we started loving each other. Michael taught me that. Michael inspired me to help, Michael inspired me in almost everything I do. People sometimes say they see a light around me or that I brighten their day just by a visit and I think that is again Michael's influence. I know that everyone in the MJ Fam agrees Michael was someone special he was an angel on earth. I really hope he realized how many lives he touched and how many lives are forever different because of him. I don't know if he knew that in life but i'm sure he knows it now :) The one thing I do want to say also before I end this is, just recently Michael has yet again helped me through another thing in my life. There were some songs like Streetwalker etc that I had not heard until right after his death. One of those songs is called "On The Line" at this point in my life & what i'm going through when I heard that song again I cried, again I said Michael HOW did you know because that song word for word could have been written for me. & in me hearing the song it has given me hope again. It has helped me to do one thing I've always needed to do and that's let go of the past. I thank all of you who read this for reading it, for listening to my story, for letting me share how Michael changed my life. & I wanted to say in closing, Michael Jackson I love you more, I hope now you know exactly how you changed the world, how you changed my life. I'm so glad to have "known" you, I'm so glad to have been born while you were here. I feel blessed for that. I feel blessed to have had you in my life. Thank you for being my teacher, my inspiration, my love & my friend when I felt I had no one else. I love you Michael
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