Pause: zen

I'm so optimistic I'd go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with me.

Zig Ziglar 

[Image by Tonya Joy]

Pause: nine

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.  

Stacia Tauscher

[Image by Sandra Freij]

Pause: otto

If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything. 

Malcolm X

[Image by Amanda Perkins via Style Me Pretty]

Pause: seven

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

[Image is of dear Mayalu's inspiration board. Maya*Made is inspiration herself! One of my absolute favourite bloggers.]

Pause: six

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? 

I thought I was the only one. 

C.S. Lewis

[Image via weneverknowwhereyoufoundit]

Pause: four

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry,

their passions a quotation.

Oscar Wilde

[Image by Steven Lippman]

Pause: trio

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those 

who matter don't mind.

Dr Seuss

[Image via wedontcreditit]

Pause: two

Breathless, we flung us on a windy hill, laughed in the sun and kissed the lovely grass.

Rupert Brooke

[Image via weheartit]

Pause: one

Drink and dance and laugh and lie, love the reeling midnight through, for tomorrow we shall die 

(but alas we never do)!

Dorothy Parker in The Portable Dorothy Parker

[Image via weheartit and then pinterest and, really, I would hate to be a good photographer at the end of the day!]

Smoking not

I've been craving cigarettes like crazy all day. This wouldn't be unusual if it was August 2004 which is the month - almost SEVEN YEARS AGO - that I gave up my almost-pack-a-day habit.

You never really give up.

From time to time over that seven year period I have had a cigarette. Never while sober, always after a drink or four. The last time I smoked was after Woogsy and I trudged up Oxford Street on a Monday night after several wines and many more whines to buy a pack from the bottle-o. But that was months ago.

But today I am craving cigarettes like crazy.

I'll never understand it. It can't be a nicotine or a psychological or even a habit thing - surely not after almost seven years? Why would I just wake up today and think I'm a smoker all over again? What blip in my brain forgot that I hated it, felt trapped by it, was begging to give up? What tiny synapse has failed to fire and remind me of the wretched cravings endured and outlasted for months and months? How could I forget that the reason I gave up was pregnancy, but the reason I stayed given-up was parenting?

I didn't want to be 'that smoking mum'. That mum who snuck away at odd times of the day and night and returned smelling of guilt. That mum who swore she'd never smoke in front of her kids but wasn't strong enough to resist. Not because she's a bad mother, but because there was something controlling her that seemed bigger than her gigantic love for her kids. Bigger even than that.

My own mum smoked, back in the day when everyone did. Many of us have memories of a smoky eighties-bright kitchen and waves of laughter as coffee was poured and cigarettes lit. I recall the thick haze of the room almost as effortlessly as I recall my mum's sagging disappointment when I revealed at twenty that I was a smoker too (because eventually, you can't hide it any more, you just can't wait). My choice; her guilt.

Mum gave up smoking before I did. After an almost thirty year habit, she just quit one day for good. Her strength and resolve was inspiring, but never once did she say to me 'when are you giving up? When will you stop?' She knew that choice had to be mine. She knew how frustrating it was to have other people try to make that choice for you. It had to be me.

In the end it was Maxi-Taxi and how grateful I have always been to my little man for that. There was no 'final cigarette', no endless goodbye. The double line just meant that the cigarettes went and that was the end of that. I missed the way cigarettes focus you in the present, make you stop and just 'be' for a moment. I missed the easy banter as I shared one of those moments with colleagues, party goers, the girl on the train platform. "All the fun people smoke," I remember a non-smoker friend complaining at one party or another. I agree with her - the smokers conversations are always fab and delicious. Even if the cigarettes are not.

Easy enough to walk away from in the end, when it stops being about you and starts to be about something bigger. The relief at not imposing my unhealthy, unattractive, untenable habit on other people was enormous. Despite that, I think I will always be the kind of person who has one or two during a night out, but that's okay. I don't go out enough to worry about such matters and I've long made my peace with it. 

But today. Today I am craving cigarettes like crazy and it reminds me, once again, that you never really give up.

Have you ever been a smoker? How do you stay given-up?

[Image by Enrique Manas de la Mota]

______________________________________________________________________________________

Edited 11/7: Just wanted to amend the dates! It was actually August 2003 that I stopped smoking so it's been EIGHT years. Given that Maxi was born in May 2004, I thought it best to clarify that otherwise I don't look like such a fab mother, do I? x

PS - No, I didn't give in to the cravings. Never do. That's the secret. x

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I'm obsessed with giveaways galore right now...

My own...

... My sister's...

...and Down that Little Lane's.

Have fun! x

On the road again

Imagine my joy when LOML turned to me earlier this year and said "Where are you going on your annual road trip this year?"

It's annual! My once-in-a-lifetime escape by myself  is actually annual!

He's a good man, my man. He understands me and he knows how to make me sing.

The question remained: where am I going to go this year?

I'm heading out towards the end of July and I've always wanted to go to Tassie, so that was on the cards. I planned to visit Jane in Hobart and then mosey around the coast a little bit. But then LOML and I decided that we want to go to Tasmania for the first time as a family, so I've parked that idea for later in the year.

So now, I'm driving from Sydney to Daylesford and poking around there before driving home. A trip like that is going to be inspiration, creativity and promise all wrapped up in a handmade rug to warm the soul.

 Any suggestions on where to stay, where to visit, what to do? I'm all excited ears!

__________________________________________________
Edited on 2.6.2011

Just wanted to say OF COURSE I'll be giving big smooches to Allison at Lark whilst in Daylesford (I am an avid eshopper already!). And I would have been having a cuppa at Kate's place too, but she'll be inconveniently off having a marvellous caravanning hol with the fam...

[Image by Margaret Metcalfe]

Loving JLW Photography

The creative way this father is capturing his beautiful daughters' childhoods is very special. Look out Tsunamis, I'm totally inspired!

I found Jason's work through flickr. Check it out.

♥ Loving Hearts

[Image via weheartit]

This one's for Anna over at ♥ Much Love ♥ - to make up for all the non-hearty pics throughout the year!!! Happy days, Anna.

[Image via weheartit]

I heart hearts very much. They're about love and warmth and kindness and all the good stuff. They're symmetrical and balanced. They're curvy with an edge. They're often pink or red. They make me cheerful.

[Image by Irene Suchoki]

[Image from Tatterbean]

[Image by V. Kontarkte]

[Image via Doreese]

[Image by Mandi Campbell]

The gorgeous LOML is taking me on a road trip from Paris to Roma for our tenth wedding anniversary in 2012... now that's something to inspire many hearts!

[Image by G!L]

[Image by Sweets and hearts]

[Image by Amy Biness]

[Image via Maybeitsyou]

[Image by Peace of Mind]

There now, doesn't that feel so much better? Enjoy your day!

___________________________________________________

PS - I feel a bit like self-promotional fat heads Heidi and Spencer, but if you felt the urge, you could vote for me in the Babble Top 50 over here...

Busting out of the Comfort Zone

The V8 Supercars. Surprise. I had a fantastic time in the pits during practice, talking to the drivers and crew and learning all sorts of interesting facts about cars, cars, cars. The smells, the sounds, the sights, I kind of 'got it'. I can't say I'm car racing's newest fan, but I will say that I'm not knocking anything I don't know about in future.

It's good to break this habit. I have a bad tendency to turn my nose up at things I consider... 'not me'. It really switches you off from experiencing things that are a bit out of your usual comfort zone but are great fun nonetheless. It's good to hang out with people you ordinarily wouldn't meet and talk about things you ordinarily wouldn't consider. Good for sparking creative inspiration and good for the soul.

I'm challenging myself to embrace new experiences from now on. I'm going to drag my little family along to something new whenever I can. You just never know what the Tsunamis are going to be into so it's up to LOML and I to introduce them to as many different things as we can. And you never know, I just might find a new passion of my own along the way.

Do you shake things up regularly? What do you to do get yourself out of your comfort zone?

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♥ Loving paper cranes

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I've long admired the art of origami and I guess the purest form of that to me is the paper crane. A sweet little package of perfection and hope.

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[Image via weheartit]

Sandy and the 1000 paper cranes is a sweet little blog and adventure. Sandy plans to make 1000 paper cranes and leave them wherever she goes for others to delight in. The cranes each carry an inspirational word to give a delightful pause in the finder's day. My favourite word so far (she is up to 160 cranes as I write) is 'Giddy'. But I also like Radiant, Quaint, Thankful and good old Joy, Happy and Thankful.

What's your favourite word of inspiration?


PS - The September Fridge Chronicles linky starts tomorrow! Go on, you know you're dying to join in the fun. Post your noticeboard if your fridge isn't magnetised... anything that chronicles your daily life...

PPS - The post is part of Anna's ♥ Much Love ♥ Mondays. Click over to Anna's to post your own loves.

♥ Loving Simply Hue

I'm addicted to Etsy. I scroll through new stores almost every day, dreaming away about what I'd be buying if it was a 'buying day'. I'm finding Vicky at Simply Hue Designs almost irresistable.  She captures daydreamy, lollipop Summers and creates a little yearning in my heart.

I know it's probably a bit of a fad for some, but I love the vintage look for images (you might have noticed that!) An image has to be more than just photoshopped for me to like it, though. You can't hide bad photography with a bit of saturation and a vignette.

Do you have a favourite Etsy shop to share?

Even though it's Sunday, this post is part of ♥Much Love♥ Monday over at Anna's lovely part of the bloggerspace...

An absolutely ordinary rainbow

I've been inspired by MultipleMum's Tuesday John Donne moment to share one of my favourite ever poets.

I've chosen a contemporary poet, mainly because while most of us love many of the old school poets, many of us forget to keep finding new ones to cherish. I've chosen Les Murray because if you love the secret hiding places of language, as I do, then you will love art of Les Murray.

An Absolutely Ordinary Rainbow

The word goes round Repins,
the murmur goes round Lorenzinis,
at Tattersalls, men look up from sheets of numbers,
the Stock Exchange scribblers forget the chalk in their hands
and men with bread in their pockets leave the Greek Club:
There's a fellow crying in Martin Place. They can't stop him.

The traffic in George Street is banked up for half a mile
and drained of motion. The crowds are edgy with talk
and more crowds come hurrying. Many run in the back streets
which minutes ago were busy main streets, pointing:
There's a fellow weeping down there. No one can stop him.

The man we surround, the man no one approaches
simply weeps, and does not cover it, weeps
not like a child, not like the wind, like a man
and does not declaim it, nor beat his breast, nor even
sob very loudly—yet the dignity of his weeping

holds us back from his space, the hollow he makes about him
in the midday light, in his pentagram of sorrow,
and uniforms back in the crowd who tried to seize him
stare out at him, and feel, with amazement, their minds
longing for tears as children for a rainbow.

Some will say, in the years to come, a halo
or force stood around him. There is no such thing.
Some will say they were shocked and would have stopped him
but they will not have been there. The fiercest manhood,
the toughest reserve, the slickest wit amongst us

trembles with silence, and burns with unexpected
judgements of peace. Some in the concourse scream
who thought themselves happy. Only the smallest children
and such as look out of Paradise come near him
and sit at his feet, with dogs and dusty pigeons.

Ridiculous, says a man near me, and stops
his mouth with his hands, as if it uttered vomit—
and I see a woman, shining, stretch her hand
and shake as she receives the gift of weeping;
as many as follow her also receive it

and many weep for sheer acceptance, and more
refuse to weep for fear of all acceptance,
but the weeping man, like the earth, requires nothing,
the man who weeps ignores us, and cries out
of his writhen face and ordinary body

not words, but grief, not messages, but sorrow,
hard as the earth, sheer, present as the sea—
and when he stops, he simply walks between us
mopping his face with the dignity of one
man who has wept, and now has finished weeping.

Evading believers, he hurries off down Pitt Street.


from
The Weatherboard Cathedral, 1969

 

Performance

I starred that night, I shone:
I was footwork and firework in one,

a rocket that wriggled up and shot
darkness with a parasol of brilliants
and a peewee descant on a flung bit;
I was busters of glitter-bombs expanding
to mantle and aurora from a crown,
I was fouéttes, falls of blazing paint,
para-flares spot-welding cloudy heaven,
loose gold off fierce toeholds of white,
a finale red-tongued as a haka leap:
that too was a butt of all right!

As usual after any triumph, I was
of course, inconsolable.

from
Subhuman Redneck Poems, 1996

 

Sharing a treasured piece or two is a great way to share a bit more of myself, I think.  I would love to know your own favourite poem or poet.

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Cubby houses I would like to move into

As children, MultipleMum and I spent days and days playing house in our father's shed.  I was always called Hannah, my very favourite name of all time when I was 9... I'm sure that one day my daughters will thank their lucky stars that I didn't have them at 9!

These fond memories were sparked by the darling cubby above belonging to Finn and Asha over at Leonie's place, Raglan Guld. Resting in a peaceful part of the garden, snazzed up with teal doors, so charming and unique. I would move in tomorrow if they would have me...

If the above is my ideal nest, this one is the McMansion next door. It's at Cutest Little Things and it is the Taj Mahal of cubbies... click on the link and have a wander around this amazing space. It's nicer and bigger than my house.

 Ohdeedoh features this one which is author Clare Crespo's daughter Ruby's playhouse. It's magic, isn't it? The sunflower garden just makes it extra special.

By Greg Hatton, featured on Designer in Disguise. Bit ho hum on the outside, but look at that stylin' styling inside. I want that desk for my new house over at Leonie's!

And just imagine if you had an inspired and talented mum like Judith Needham who could weave you a magical cubby from fresh willow? I mean, really, imagine that!

We've converted part of the garage into a cubby of sorts for our kids. It's not particularly inspirational, however, and now I feel inspired to do something about it!

 Do you have fond memories of a childhood cubby? Do your children have one?

Things I learned this week including that everything has its place

I've had a great week. I'm not even sure why. Sitting on my front verandah having a laugh with a couple of friends on Wednesday morning was near perfect. Happy children exploring the rocks to the side of our house, happy mums enjoying a cuppa, happy chocolate chip cookies munching themselves (seemingly!), happy weather smiling at it all.  Yes, that's why I had such a great week.

Plus, I learned / was reminded of a fair bit of really important stuff. Mostly about the human character.

1. For all my talk last week of rarely wearing makeup, I frocked up for an awards dinner on Friday night and it was great fun (the frocking up, not the actual dinner, that was Dullsville). I learned that dressing up and looking your best is just as much fun as I remembered. Still wouldn't want to have to do it everyday, but everything has its place.

2. There's a fantastic search cheat sheet for Google out there. It really helps to refine your search terms and find what you need more quickly

3. The grass really isn't greener on the other side of the fence. I knew this, of course, but my Working Mother Guilt post really brought it home to me. And it reminded me that when I first went back to working life after having my first baby I felt guilty because I didn't feel guilty... is there no end!? The only solution is to stop focusing on the negative and start loving the beautiful positives. And always be grateful, grateful, grateful.

4. Sometimes what you're looking for is right in front of you all along. Gifts of Serendipity posted up favourite poem of mine from long ago, Max Ehrmann's Desiderata and I was reminded to slow down, reflect and appreciate.

5. Typedrawing is just about the most fascinating thing I've found in weeks. You create pictures with words. If you love typography - as I do - you will love this to pieces.*

6. Fabric bags are my new must have. Look what Piou Piou is up to ... such a fantastic way to store kids' stuff (or any stuff for that matter!)

7. An unexpected, thoughtful gift 'just because' is a wonderful thing indeed.

8. I learned that we really are just born either sunny-side up or down. Imagine a junior burger trying to figure out the motivations for a friend suddenly wanting to play with someone else. Some kids just shrug their shoulders and say 'he's got better toys' (this was Maxi-Taxi's response), other kids worry all day that there is 'something wrong with me' (this was his bestie's response). Are your kids sunny-side up or down?

9. You've got to have band-aids in your first aid kit. They are the world's great placebo treatment. If you run out, buy some more immediately lest you be caught short with a stubbed toe belonging to a child not your own requiring said placebo... and 'what do you mean you don't have a band-aid' ringing in your ears.

10. LOML is quite possibly the kindest, most supportive and handsomemost man in the world.**

How about you? Did you learn anything new this week?

* Thanks to the lovely Kellie at 74 Lime Lane for this and the Google cheat sheet tip!

** Of course I'm cheating here: of course I didn't really just learn that this week. I learned it about a half hour after I met him all those years ago...



Are you flogging? I'm flogging at Lori's... Oh, and while we're on the subject of linkys, don't forget to link up to the August Chronicles. I wanna see your fridge!

This Saturday I'm grateful for... dreams

Here in Maxabellaland, Saturday is traditionally a sport, shop, sort the clothes, sweep the floors, strangle the Tsunamis (insert other 's' words here - no pun intended) kinda day. But on Maxabella loves... I thought it would be grounding to make Saturday my 'grateful' day.


 
This Saturday I'm grateful for...
 
 
1. Slow cookers - food goes in, life goes on, meal comes out.
 
2. Dreams - sustaining, nuturing, uplifting, motivating, stretching, cultivating, affirming, believing.
 
3. A good vegie peeler - getting your first vegie peeler that actually works is a life-changing moment.
 

 

What's making you happy today?

 

 

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