Not just for losers

I understand that many bloggers like to keep their blogs as their 'happy place'. They feel that the good memories are the ones worth recording and their blogs reflect that. I get it, sort of.

But in a lot of ways, I can get a big slap of 'happy place' from women's magazines, where newborns are all 'angels' and celebpretties wax lyrical about their tiny thighs and enormous meals. The same women's magazines that made me feel like a fat loser all through teenagedom and an even fatter loser after that.

A loser because I didn't have a boyfriend. A loser because I didn't have straight hair. A loser because I couldn't afford designer clothes, a personal trainer, a salon wax, frosted tips or, during the early nineties, Hammer pants. A loser because... well, I was me.

Easy solution: I stopped buying those stupid mags in my late twenties and never really looked back. Oh, okay, I swapped my addiction to women's mags for my addiction to house porn, but you've gotta start somewhere right? See, now I'm just a loser because of my house. It's not really about me any more.

Intellectually I'm aware that those house porn mags 'fake it' (loving the connotations attached to that sentence!). Intellectually I know that they back the truck up full of the latest and greatest and practically shove the featured family out of the way to create their 'styled casual' home for them. But emotionally, I'm attached to that idea of 'the perfect family home' that looks like that all the time. Emotionally I believe that there are families out there that live with all-white furnishings that stay white; that their children's toys are only made of wooden and recycled tyres. Families that exist in colour-coordinated clothes that don't clash with their smearless red Smeg fridge and matching crumbless toaster.

So, intellectually, we get it; emotionally we just plain want it. Marketing geeks (of which I am one) call it 'aspirational marketing' and, I'm telling you, they go out of their way to make you feel like what you've got right now isn't good enough. There's great stuff in the world and you're not it.

Fortunately my new 'happy place' is the land of the smoodgy, smudgy, smidgy world of beautiful blogs that are real and honest and true. The happy and the WTFHT*? As much as I love a styled 'occasion', I love even more the flaws, the mishaps, the madness and the muddy mess of life. I often wonder why I visit the over-styled blogs when I've got my house porn to keep me feeling sufficiently loserish (there is a book out there called 'The Perfectly Imperfect Home' - I kid you not! Get a life!). I just don't need the blog world to turn on me as well. So, keep letting it all hang out there, bloggers of the world. I embrace you and the wind you threw your caution to.

Do you let it all hang out? Or do you hang back a little? 

Is your blog your happy place?

* What The Fuck Happened There?


[Image by schorlemädchen]

Sales time my Wardrobe Shop

The ever-stylish Nikki at Styling You did a great vlog on Friday where she mentioned 'shopping your wardrobe'. As a person who rotates the same six garments at the front of a seemingly packed full wardrobe, heading into my own stash before I hit the shops seems like a great concept. I think it could definitely work at my place except...

My wardrobe looks like a shop at 'sales time'. You know, when the shop has 'Everything Reduced By 50% BUY NOW NOW NOW' signs on the window and inside everything is strewn everywhere and all the colours are clashing like a giant exploding firecracker and you think 'there is absolutely nothing I like in this store' (although, hell, at 50% off you darn well find something, right?)

It got me thinking that if I did a big wardrobe clear out and then hung and folded everything all colour-co-ordinated by outfit like they do in the stores when it's not sales time, I might actually want to shop my wardrobe. I could even have items stacked the way they should be stacked in the shops - with the big sizes at the front, decreasing down to the smaller sizes. Because, yes, I have all those sizes - my weight is too unstable to risk not having 'back ups'!

So, I could do all that and no doubt find loads of really lovely outfits to wear in my Wardrobe Shop that cost me absolutely nothing...

Or do they?

Just thinking about this a bit more. What would be the cost to my sanity having to maintain my Wardrobe Shop? I worked Saturday mornings at Rockmans circa 1989, I know how much folding and hanging and refolding and rehanging and folding is involved in clothes-shop keeping. Even the memory of my time at Rockmans is crushing me with boredom. And that's not even including the washing and ironing of said clothes. As a naturally messy person, the amount of work and stress involved would be phenomenal. I would have to give up my day job so I could work in my Wardrobe Shop full time. Eek.

It's true, I lust after many a thing for my home. But a walk-in wardrobe with all those open shelves is absolutely not one of them. And while I can certainly take Nikki's excellent advice about auditing the piles I have, I think I'll stick with the sales.

How's your wardrobe situation?

Can you ever find anything to wear?

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And speaking of wardrobes... have you entered my giveaway yet?

[Image found via Pinterest]

Blogliciousness: the {tiny} satorialist

 

Blogliciousness v 1 Desirable, yummy, inspiring and/ or entertaining blog. 2 A potential new blog to love.

Anyone who knows me knows I can't stand kids in grown-up clothes. I see a kid in a fedora and I just feel the bile start to rise. Skinny jeans, biker boots, high-heels on tots... no, I'm not a fan of the 'fash for kids' pack one little bit.

Which is why I was extremely surprised to fall in love with Marshall Ace. Marshall Ace and the clothes he wears is the sole preoccupation of the {tiny} satorialist. This tot is so cutely attired I can't help but want to see more, more, more.

What is it about this blog? There really is just something about Marshall Ace...

Do you have a new blog find to share? And what are your thoughts on 'trendy kids'?

[Image via the{tiny}satorialist]

Daisy Dukes and fairy floss

This year the Sydney Royal Easter Show wasn't about the rides or the show bags or even the wood chopping. The fairy floss, the demented fairies on sticks, the cheese sticks... all those fairies and sticks, they all took a back seat.

Because this year, the Sydney Royal Easter Show was all about the Daisy Dukes.

Pack after pack after pack of teenage girl gangs sauntered past in little, bitty denim cut-offs showing lashings and lashings of suddenly very large thigh. Seriously, do those pants look good on anyone?

It was easily less than 16 degrees in the cattle yard, thrumming with rain and still the Easter shorts parade went on. That darn Katy Perry, this was all her fault. Slashed shorts with the pockets hanging down the regulation 3cm lower than the actual short. The chain-store examples even had beading and studs on the inside-out pockets, thereby removing any semblance of nonchalance from the outfit.

The result was a line of Katys who were all so samey-same-same that I was surprised all the little Biebers running around could actually tell them apart. Did they find all those purplish, dimpled thighs hot, hot, hot or like me did they wish the Katys would swap their very-shorts for something a little more... flattering. Even the one girl in a million who could carry off the Dukes would have looked better in a cute little mini or a pair of skinnies.

Next time I'm tempted to indulge in foolish 'back when I was young and could wear absolutely anything' nostalgia, I will remind myself of those masses of short-challenged girls (and my own ill-advised green denim extra-mini skirt circa 1986).  Trust me, thighs that need ample coverage can happen at any age and Daisy Dukes are not our friends.

Do I sound like I'm eighty? Or just from the eighties?

What was the most unflattering garment you wore as a teen? Did you think you looked hot?

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Today's the last day for votes in the Sydney Writers' Centre People's Choice Awards.

I would be ever-so grateful for your vote so please click the banner below and head to 'page 2'.

Thank you!

[Image found via weheartit. What can I say? I'm weak.]

♥ Loving Shoes of Prey

I think we've established that I'm all about the ideas rather than the actual skills / drive to pull them off... I dream about dresses that will never be designed, businesses that will never trade and (apparently) coffee tables that don't exist (EIGHT years!).

Shoes of Prey is a mad name for a really cool concept. You draw and design the perfect shoes and they make them. Yay!

Wouldn't it be fabulous if other industries did the same? Do you know of any?

[Shoes above are not made by Shoes of Prey (unless you want them to be!) but I just love them to bits so here they are. Image via weheartit]

Bling on love on the big day

It's Vaaaaaaaalentine's Day! Cue intimate candlelit dinner for two (plus 48 other restaurant goers). Cue a dozen red roses (I guess it's the thought that counts). Cue those little 'love teddy bears' that sit at the bottom of florist tubes (weird). Cue... meh.

Couldn't really care less, actually. I adore my husband every day, he adores me right back. Happily ever after.

BUT.

Oh, do I love jewellery and I'm fascinated to see what sort of 'special' pieces you have that your beloved (or yourself!) acquired for you. So Felicity at Gifts of Serendipity (who started it all with this post) and I are hosting a linky today. All you have to do is take a pic and write a post about your favourite piece of bling and link up!

So snap, snap, snap away (sunshine is good for sparkle) and come back over here or head to Felicity's to sign up your link. Can't wait to see!

[Image from here... source is written on the image but I can't read it. Don't you hate it how people don't honour their sources! As always, if you know the owner of this image, please let me know. Would you believe this request actually worked one day and I was emailed by a woman whose husband had taken the shot? I dutifully changed the caption. A global village moment.] [9.28PM EDIT - Image by alephunky - thanks Jane, fast work!]

Do you have a look?

I was surprised to learn last Friday (at an impromptu 'yay we survived the first week back at school' pool party) that apparently I have 'a look'.

Me. A look.

I've never considered that this could be the case, but I was assured by a very stylish  (all the School Mums I hang with are very stylish) friend that she "liked my look".

"Really?" I said, rather shocked. "What look is that?"

Apparently I have a "smart neutrals with a bit of a quirky boho" thing going on. Who knew?

I've improved a lot over the years, but I'm definitely more of an 'Avoider' shopper than a 'Selector'. When forced away from the shoes, handbags and jewllery (ie. fun) part of shopping, every garment I purchase answers 'no' to the following questions:

Is it fattening?
Is it restricting?
Does it highlight the fact that I have a footballers' neck?
Does it require ironing?
Is it faddish?
Do I look like mutton?
Does it look like mutton?
Do I already own 5 just like it?

Who would have thought that an Avoider Shopper could develop a unique and admired (oh, okay admired that one time) look? I'm joyous! So joyous, in fact, that I just went right ahead and created the above outfit using Polyvore. How very Fashion(ish) forward(ish) of me!

Are you a Selector or an Avoider dresser? How would you describe your own 'look'?

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Edit 11.17 am 10/2

I've been reading through the comments (fab!) and I just had to pop back here to emphasise that this combo is skinny pants and a DRESS. There is no way I would ever, could ever wear skinny pants without a dress! Just so we're clear. The only problem with my new best friend Polydore is that all the clothes are skinny people sizes and the bodies are skinny people bodies. I am not a skinny person, a fact you can read about on my weight-loss blog 40 Skinny Street if you felt the urge to torture yourself through boredom.

This week I'm grateful for... that pool

Hot weather, plants drooping, cicadas rattling. A lull descends.

I'm off work for two weeks. Last week of school holidays, first week back at school. Cappers is soon to be a Kinder Kid! She is champing at the bit to get in there and give this school thing a go. Maxi is schlepping about the place, terrified to go back there because he's been told he will have to 'work' in first grade. Not even 'work hard', just 'work'. The threat of actual effort is enough to send him into his own kind of lull.

But I'm going to enjoy this time with my darling, crazy, needy, loving Tsunamis, oh yes I am!

This week I'm grateful for...

 1. Our pool - I never thought I would come to love that great big water-sucking, algae-growing time-and-money-pit that came with the house. But when I see the Tsunamis leaping joyfully off the edge and swimming for hours like healthy, happy kids should... sheesh, yeah, I love it.

2. Bloggy friends - we meet so many fabulous people on these blogs of ours. It amazes me, then, that there are some people that you just 'click' with and you become firm friends even though you've apparently never met 'in real life'. Sorry, um... this is our 'real' life, isn't it? Or do I have another life somewhere that I'm unaware of? Spooky.

3. Our camera - Imagine not having 10000 images of our children on file!

[Image is of Cappers... look at me, Mum!]

So, what's making you smile today? Grab my I'm grateful for... button from my sidebar if you like, add your I'm Grateful For post below and please add a link back to me in your post. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine. Happy day to you!

Femimen

I like a well-groomed man as much as the next girl. But erk! Have you noticed that more and more men seem determined to bind themselves up in knots over beauty like women have for centuries? I don't get it.

I don't get why they want to rip out all their pubic hair.

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I don't get why they want to stab themself in the eye with a mascara wand.

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I don't get why they want to show off their moobs.

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I don't get why they are stumbling around in high heels.

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What's going on? I am truly baffled by this whole 'manscara' phenomenon! To be honest, it makes me dry wretch a little bit. The femiman is not my kinda man at all and on a more important level... why on earth would you do this stuff to yourself if 1000s of years of social norms weren't making you?

Do you find femimen men hot?

[Header image from here]

Dealing with Difficult People #4: Snooty Salespeople

Have you met Dave? He works at a vacuum cleaner shop that shall of course remain... Godfreys.

I don't like Dave. Dave sells a complimentary dose of WTF? along with his fancy vacuum accessories and frankly I'm a lot tired of his superior attitude. I get that pulling the vacuum cleaner up the stairs by the hose led to a broken hose. I understand that that's not the way to treat a vacuum. I understand that you would never be so lazy as to haul it around in such a fashion. I get that while vacuuming is just a mild irritant in my otherwise reasonable week, it is your life and you love it dearly. But does this crime really deserve what appears to be a double life sentence in Customer Penitentiary? Please, just sell me the replacement hose and crawl back into the vacuum from whence you came.

Snooty, superior salespeople. Argh. Usually found lurking around the poorly-lit change rooms of women's fashion stores, but surprisingly common in vacuum cleaner sales as well. They will make you feel about 2 foot tall (and ten feet wide) in seconds if you let them. What to do?

1. Remember your mantra
No, sadly, it's not 'the customer is always right'. That died when someone moved someone else's cheese. Your mantra is 'I have the money'. They have 525 units to move and you have the money. That is all you really need to know.

2. Take your business elsewhere
You've seen the Pretty Woman movie. Oh, are you a fan? I think females are solidly divided into those that thought Pretty Woman was a fairytale to be watched again and again and those that thought it sucked.

But I digress.

If a salesperson makes you feel like a beggar, smile sweetly and walk out the door. In this age of debt-riden consumerism, there are plenty of other places who would be very happy to see you indeed.

3. Be ready with a handy retort
Aside from saying "yeah, well, I'm dressed like this because there aren't a lot of clothing options in jail", you could try one of these.

They say: I don't think we carry clothes in your size.
You respond: That's interesting because I carry clothes in my size every single day. They are really not that heavy. Maybe you should give it a try.

They say: You should get some of this skin primer to smooth out those wrinkles before you put on this foundation.
You respond: Primer? Foundation? What, are we building me a new face? Don't answer that...

Right, well, you get the idea.

4. Call their bluff
Most people who work in retail are lovely, helpful people. But some give off the vibe that they just stopped by for 8 hours on their way to getting a pedi.  They are most likely an Actor / Dancer / Singer / Checkout Chick. If they're totally slacking off to the detriment of your day, it's okay to say "I would like to speak to your manager". When they say "I am the manager", see point 2.

5. Keep perspective
Above all else, remember that it really doesn't matter if the lass who works at the clothes shop thinks you're an unstylish heiffer.  I know when they start using that look it's tempting to start rabbiting on about needing to see your Stylist whom you'll drive to in your Ferrari with your new customised Sharon-Lee eyebrows framing your face beautifully. But it's not necessary. Purchase your goods and leave quietly. At the end of the day, you're a mother /lover / friend / Neurosurgeon and they are that lass who works at the clothes shop.

Don't they just make you want to grrrrrrrrrrr.... Ever had a Snooty Salesperson encounter? Any tips for dealing with these Difficult People? And what are your thoughts on Pretty Woman?

[Image by Revoluzzza, check out her gorgeous stuffed monsters here]

This week I'm grateful for... holidays

Holidays. When life eases to a gentle pause. When a quiet moment has meaning. When we allow ourselves the privilege of basking in ourselves. We mosey, we mooch, we maybe. Oh, happiness.


So, this week I'm grateful for...


1. Holidays - of course. Ending too soon as I'm already back at work (but keeping the holiday spirit inside, regardless!).


2. House swaps - we spent a very happy few days in the Pink Fibro last week while Al and her brood came to our place. House swaps with fellow parents are the way to go. There is space, there are toys, there is wipeable furnishings.


3. Leona Edmiston - January sales turn me very shallow very quickly. I snapped up two half-priced Leonas yesterday and I am so in love with myself in them. She really knows how to dress a woman's soft spots.

So, what's making you smile today? Grab my I'm Grateful For... button from my sidebar if you like, add your Grateful post below and please add a link back to me in your post. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine.  Happy day to you!

[Image via weheartit]

This week I'm grateful for... dusk

Sometimes we are so busy focusing on what we want we forget to be grateful for what we already have. It's nice to pause to appreciate the positive and affirming things in your life, whatever they may be.

This week I'm grateful for...

1. Dusk - When life is bathed in glorious warm light, the day is settling in behind you and the evening opens ahead, full of promise.

2. Trampolines - At dusk while I enjoy a glass of wine on my verandah, our trampoline contains those happy Tsunamis effortlessly.

3. Funky necklaces - I always get compliments for the neck pieces I wear and I'm so glad they drag the attention away from the rest of me!

So, what's making you smile today? Grab my I'm Grateful For... button from my sidebar if you like, add your Grateful post below and please add a link back to me in your post. Then pop over to visit other bloggers who are spreading a little sunshine. No hurry - we're all about laaaaazy Saturdays. Link is open all week. Happy day to you!

PS - For extra weekend fun, I always play Weekend Rewind with my sister Life in a Pink Fibro. Join me!

[Image from weegeebored]

The Over-Styled Life

I was happy when Bubby Makes Three gave me the opportunity to let it all hang out. As much as I adore the aesthetics of life, I've got a bit of an issue with the Over-Styled Life. I previously mentioned Fleur Wood's book and how much it made me cringe. Even though I couldn't get into the over-done images and seemingly forced bubbliness of the whole thing, at least it was authentically Fleur Wood. I think she's really, genuinely like that.

Although sometimes I'm rather too preoccupied with the way life looks for comfort, I'm not really in danger of leading an OLS any time soon. It's the kind of life where at a party the host worries more that everything looks perfect than the happiness of the people attending. It's perpetuating the myth that women leap out of bed fully airbrushed into homes that look like a magazine spread. A world where only a $495 rubbish bin from Top 3 by Design will save our homes from becoming land fill. It's eating Donna Hay food rather than just looking at it. It's shopping at boutique grocery stores and paying $36 for a slice of cheese without batting a Bimatoprost coated eyelash.

It's sands and taupes and camels. It's definitely never beige.

It's the woman watching the people watching her children frolicking in their matching white sundresses rather than watching the children herself. Her husband smiles indulgently and wonders if she's put on a bit.

It's over-bright smiles and self-conscious fussing. It's forced whimsy and copy-cat cutesy. It's like we stopped looking at Pretty in mags and decided that we wanted that stylist-created, airbrushed life for ourselves. Without the stylist or the airbrushing.

It's all so samey same same and it's infiltrating more and more sectors of my life and it's driving me a bit bonkers!  Fortunately, I am far too frizzy, beigey and generally lazy to really fall victim to the OSL phenomenon. But, I know it... oh, yes, we've met and I didn't instantly turn my back like I should have...

Are you a victim of the OSL? Can you maintain the pace?

[Image by Peter Guthrie]

Things I learned this week including that you have to follow the rules

Happy Friyay! How was your week? It's such a cliche but time and time again I find myself wondering how we got to the end so quickly. Apart from the year I spent in a one hour meeting on Monday, this week has flown.

1. So, you may recall that I didn't refrigerate my Hyacinth bulbs and back in May I smugly just stuck them in the ground anyway? Well, they came up and I was very excited (and smug) but then they didn't flower. So, I've learnt my lesson, you have to follow the rules.

2. Mel from From Little Things has come up with a way to make a mundane household chore like hanging out the clothes just a little tiny bit more inspirational. On the subject of inspirational cleaning, am I also the only one who buys top-of-the-range organically birthed cleaning products just to make myself feel better about scrubbing those floors?

3. My "reply" post this week taught me that it's very easy to appear harsher in print than if you said the same things in person. I apologise to Kahli if I upset her in any way, that was certainly not my intention. On reflection, I'm not proud of the personal tone that my argument took. I embrace all honest versions of motherhood and I never wish to be disrespectful or hurtful. I would rather hurt myself. I intend to be gentler with my criticisms in future. You have been warmed. (Sorry about the stupid pun, I can't help myself - I always make stupid jokes when I'm upset.)

4. A helmet-cam video of a transmission tower repair technician enlightened me to the fact that they free-climb a 1,768 foot tower in order to repair its light beacon (to give you an indication of how far up these guys work, the light beacon is there so airplanes won't fly into the tower...). Warning, the video is actually mind numbingly boring, in an interesting kind of way.

5. To write the number '5' correctly we say 'draw his body and his tummy and don't forget his hat'.

6. I really, really like that Dita von Teese.

7. I found a mummy crafty blog out there called Sean the Prawn. Aside from me telling you that it's a really great little blog, you have to check it out on the name alone, right? I just love it!

8. If I'm Still Here is an elaborate practical joke, I've been laughing along with it all for months. Can't wait to see it.

9. I found this article on oh dee doh Incorporating Children Into the Decor hi.larious. I pictured children hung neatly on the walls besides the Jackson Pollocks. I don't even recall thinking that an odd thing. Let's face it, these 'showroom' houses must hang their kids up on the walls in order to be so styled and clean. (For the purpose of remaining critical and scathing, we'll just ignore the fact that my home has already 'incorporated' most of these ideas, okay?)

10. The 'bag tag' I bought from Loved (Little Ted Canvas's gorgeous brand) makes a fabulous over sized pendant. I gathered compliments all day when I wore my sweet Alice in Wonderland version (it has Alice and the squirrel on the front and the white rabbit checking his fob on the back). Of course, there was one smarty pants who asked me if I was wearing a handy coaster around my neck, but there's always a comedienne, huh?

How was your week? Did you learn anything new to share?

* PS - Of course I'm flogging over at Lori's. Just a note on this, I have actually tried a few other 'Follows' and while I have met some really wonderful bloggers this way, for the most part I've found they really are just about getting 'follows' which I find a bit meaningless really. Why follow a blog just to get a follower on your own blog? Am I missing something? In contrast, Flog Your Blog Friday has really interesting, thoughtful blogs that I love visiting and being a part of their community. After months of being 'part of the gang' I really feel like we are a little club of Friday (and other day) friends. New company is always welcome and you don't have to **FOLLOW BACK!** unless you really want to. Just saying.

[Image by danger_bird]

Maxabella and the Versatile Blogger Award

My lovely blogger friend Jodie at Mummy Mayhem has passed on The Versatile Blogger award to me. Cue happy dance.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I confess, I don't know much about the blog awards that I see here and there. Where did they come from? Who makes the rules? Why are there so many? But, as part of the The Versatile Blogger award, I'm to share 7 things about myself and direct you to 5 wonderful blogs that I love from bloggers who are new to my site.

Let's face it, we're all new to Maxabellaland and I've been enjoying so many fellow blogs that I'm thinking of starting up a chapter of Bloggers Anon. Especially as I'm such a commenter (is that a word? Commentator? Comment maker? Nevermind...)  I just can't seem to read some of the fantastic stuff out there and not share.  So I apologise that everywhere you go in blogworld, Maxabella seems to have an opinion about it.

But, I digress.

Five blogs I just love and visit every day are:

Not Waving, But Ironing (to be honest, I'm not sure NWBI has actually ever visited my blog, but I'm Number One Stalker on her site)

Life in a Pink Fibro (brilliant writing about things that make you go 'yes, yes, ah, yes') 

Pink Patent Mary-Janes (little bit of this, little bit of that, it's like having coffee with your bestie)

Woogsworld (Laugh? I almost broke out an emoticon)

And then there were four (An honest slice of life and MultipleMum has a great turn of phrase)

And seven things you never wanted to know about me but I'm going to tell you anyway are:

1. I never brush my hair. Until my girls came along, I hadn't owned a hairbrush since 1988.

2. I secretly loathe Lady Gaga but pretend to like her so my gay colleagues think I'm cool.

3. I quite liked fashion in my youth, but these days I so can't be bothered that I would love it if everyone on the planet had to wear the same uniform every single day. I feel this approach would also solve the global warming crisis, abolish child labour in the Philippines and possibly end the reign of terror in Afghanistan. I would make the uniform beige corduroy just because I enjoy the thought of smarmy fashionistas being forced to wear beige corduroy (and because couduroy is a rather funny word).

4. I am a compulsive pleaser. For example, from year seven until year twelve I made school lunches for myself and my three siblings (vegemite or pb sandwiches, cheese and an apple, thanks for asking) because I wanted to be a good mother on behalf of my actual mother (who was a great mother but apparently not a great sandwich maker).

5. I think typing BWAHAHAHA makes you look like a (possibly laughing) twit and typing 'nom nom nom' or 'noms' for food appreciation is slightly abhorrent.

6. I often lie awake at night wondering why I am lying awake at night wondering.

7. My pin number is 85921.

Thank you and good night.

Pretentious wanker tosser types

[Source: Stella Pictures]

I know it's not nice to judge others and I reeeeally try not to. But there are certain choices that my fellow citizens of the world make that I feel are just so contrived and awful that they are begging for criticism. Begging.

Now, I'm probably going to offend some people, and for that I apologise. I want you to remember that good people make pretentious choices sometimes, so calling someone a wanker doesn't necessarily make them a bad person. My friend M is a really lovely, sunny, fun and kind person but she named her first born son 'Jet'. Tosser.

Kids in trilbies.

Buying designer clothes for 'the quality'

Adopting a hyper-sculpted beard with the ironic excuse 'I hate shaving'

Drinking designer water like antipodes or Bling H2O or Tap

Hungry models pretending they eat

Wearing earmuffs in Sydney

Men over 18 working the 'emo' look

Doing up your shoelaces under the tongue... because bows are so unfashionable?

But, really, it's hard to think of bigger wankers than people who fork out mega bucks buying designer clothes their kids... Exhibit A: "Shopping at a Sydney Bonza Brats children's wear store last week, Double Bay mother Anna Macri admits it is not unusual for her to run up $600 on her American Express card in one shopping session, collecting designer pieces for her four-year-old daughter, Francesca, and 18-month-old Gabriella. "It's expensive, but the stuff does last the distance," she says. "With the first one, you do go psycho spending, but now my 18-month-old is wearing the clothes." [Source: SMH, April 17, 2007] OOOOh, sorry, so you're spending $600 on kids designer clothes so you can hand them down? Because generations of families spending $10 on kids clothes have obviously not been able to do that. Noooow I get it.

What sort of stuff do you find frustratingly wanky?

This is me not purchasing anything...

June is my 'get back on track' month for budgets. I don't know if it's the EOFY looming or just that most Mays (and Jans, Febs, Mars and Apes) I go a bit mental with the buying, but June has traditionally been the Month of Try Not To Spend As Much On Stuff You Don't Need.

So, I still shop for groceries and important things. But I wind the pantry stocks down by making weird recipes involving all those cans of soup and curry pastes that gather in Woodstock proportions over the course of the year. I also let the car blink its pesky fuel lamp at me for as long as possible (what a rush). And I cleverly delay paying any bills that come in that month. So canny.

Now, if I was buying this June, which I am not, I would definitely be getting one of these gorgeous Naomi Murrell brooches.

If the shoe fits... and even if it doesn't.

The Badoo has adored shoes since birth. She was my only baby who wore shoes prior to walking, simply because even at 6 months it was obvious that she loved them. I bought her a little pair of 'pre-walkers' and they were never off her feet. She graduated to her sister's shoes as soon as she could stand, worked her way through my collection of flatties not long after and then before she could run she was in her Zia's sky-high stilettos which even 13 sizes too big she walks in better than I ever could.  At almost-two she insists that everyone around her is wearing shoes (she heads off and gets you a pair, brings them over and puts them on you. Doesn't matter if they're not actually yours). She carries extra shoes wherever she goes and is not fussed if she is wearing a different shoe on each feet and on the wrong feet. She changes her shoes a minimum of ten times a day. She wears shoes to bed.

So it comes as no surprise to learn that while viewing the Biennale exhibition on Cockatoo Island with her daddy on Saturday (mum was burning up the tarmac on the Snowy Mountains Highway at the time) she decided to help herself to a shoe that was part of one of the exhibitions. LOML said her look was one of utter concentration as she carefully tried this way and that to manoeuvre the shoe out from under the guard rail. She was beside herself when she was dragged away. My shoe, she screeched, MY SHOE! (My art, the artist shrieked, MY ART!)

Back when I had normal-size feet (a dainty size 9) I too had a glorious shoe obsession. Prior to pregnancy stretching the ligaments in my very high-arched feet one and a half sizes (up to a, gasp, no really, not joking, 10 1/2) I owned over 30 pairs of loveliness collected from all over the world. The best thing about coveting shoes was that no matter how much my weight fluctuated, a beautiful shoe still fit. Little works of art, lined up by colour and giving such pleasure.

Now I'm shopping for shoes at the chemist.

But, no mind. The Badoo is here. And she loves my old shoe collection even more than I do.

Loving these boots

So, of course they're the only style sold out on the site, but I'm loving these boots at Nellie & Me.

Nellie & Me is a sweet little brand all-round. I just love their site design and the shoes are fantastic quality.  This is the cute* little pair that I already own:

Now I realise leopard print isn't for everyone, but I find these to be the most versatile shoes in my wardrobe. These are go "anywear" shoes and the quality for the price is outstanding. Go the leopard!!

* really there is nothing even remotely 'cute' about my giantess size 10 1/2s!

Loving Elk Accessories

Elk Accessories make the loveliest beads and I'm proudly getting a little collection together.

These I received on Mother's Day from LOML:

And these I bought for myself about a month ago:

And this little number is what started my love-affair with Elk:

Love, love love. You can find them at Elk Accessories.