Everybody's doing it

Everybody's writing about the sex they are not having thanks to this young(enough) lady. Suddenly the blogs are alive with the sound of women lamenting their inability to have sex with their husbands after children.

ZzzzZRrrrrip!

That SO didn't come out right. I meant 'have sex with their husbands since having children'... oh, you know what I mean.

This is one of those topics that fall into the 'letting it all hang out' category. Kerrie is the queen of this particular blogging category. She often posts on the ups and going-downs of her sex life. She's really funny, especially when she talks about her husbie wanting it A LOT more than she does, but I'm actually amazed at the number of women who have commented on some of these posts saying how grateful they are that someone is finally talking about this issue.

Really?

Is it really an 'issue' we need to 'discuss'? Because as far as I'm concerned the only person you really need to talk to about your lack of sex is your partner. Although I was extremely happy to read this post over at Peta-Jo's dealing with the fact that some guy who Peta-Jo's husband works with (yeah, yeah, I know) actually pays his wife to have sex with him. He gets two freebies a month and then it's $50 a go, apparently, so she's a lot cheaper than a hooker.

Anyway, as I said on Baby Mac's post, if you're not having enough sex then forgodsake just have sex already. Stop over-analysing it or fretting about it or avoiding it or feeling guilty about it. It's definitely one of those things in life where less talk, more action is required. Just get naked and get close up.  Amazing things happen, sometimes two amazing things in one night.*

Just don't tell me about it afterwards, okay?

Do you want to hear about other people's sex lives?
Do you think it's an issue that needs discussing?

And do you think you'd put out more if your partner paid you?

* And thank you so much for sharing that, Beth.

[Image found here]

That peace of paper

Any young couple who has been together for a long time (and, of course, any not-so-young couple who have been together for longer than a month) will find themselves asked The Question.

Are you going to get married?

In the hot seat this week was my younger friend. He has been living with his girlfriend for years and as far as I know she has had an eye on her bare ring finger for well over two years now.

Guess what, no ring.

He says that he's not sure he believes in marriage. Why does he need to get up in front of everyone and declare what he already knows and she already knows? It's just a piece of paper.

I disagree, my dear friend. It's weddings you probably don't believe in. Marriage is something else entirely.

Marriage is a promise. A promise to grow together, to nurture, to forgive. It's a promise that no matter what, no matter how pear shaped things go (literally as well as figuratively, as it turns out), no matter how needy, you will care for that person. It says, 'I will be there.'

Marriage is optimism. It flies in the face of all we know - that life is fleeting, that people change, that promises get broken all the time. It says, 'you make me believe.'

Marriage is selective. There's no-one else you're married to, just your match. I may have been with others, I may look at others, I may wonder. It says, 'but I choose you.'

Marriage is security. It makes plans that run further than we can properly imagine: holding weathered, bony hands on a somewhere-shaded verandah while white rocking chairs rock and voices creak. It cries at the thought that one day one of you will be here and the other long gone. It says, 'you are not alone, you will never be lonely, I'll hold your hand just to know that you are there.'

No, it's not just a piece of paper, my friend. It's the biggest-half piece of you.
The peace of you.

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I rewound this post on 30.4.2011 at the Fibro.

[Image by Tania Lippert]